Well so much is happening right now.  I just turned 23 on October 16th, don't feel any different than i did before.  School is driving me crazy.  Work is driving me crazy too, but thank God i'm quitting JCP.  Next thursday is my last day!!!! 

On other news, it's been one year, since I got some devestating news that my grandpa had just passed away.  I still can't believe that it's been a year, i think about him from time to time and wonder if there was anything different I could have done better as a granddaughter.  First off, i know i could have had him meet my boyfriend tim when he came up for my brother's graduation last year, but i was too embarrased by my grandpa that i didn't  have them meet. yea i know what your thinking i'm a bad granddaughter, but i don't know what came over me.  and then when he scared the crap out of me when the tree fell down at his house and could have hit hime and my dad, and then a couple of weeks later he's in the hospital having a heart attack and then after being in the hospital for about a month he passes away.  i'll neve forget the day that mom and dad came into the break room at JCP and told me, i was hysterical, crying and screaming and everyone is looking at me.  it was the hardest thing i've had to go through.  then the whole week preparing for the funeral and then going to the funeral.  i remember one time when my family was sitting down for dinner and we were talking about the funeral and other arrangements and gwen said she didn't want to go to the funeral and mom said was it because you don't want to admit to yourself that he is actually gone? well that pretty much tore the family up right there, everyone was crying.  I've never cried so much at a funeral but i cried the whole time that my eyes were burning from crying.  It was the saddest day that i had to go through.  I was supposed to call him on my birthday and i just kept putting it off the whole day and by that tuesday i remembered i was supposed to call him, so i told myself that i would do it the next day.  well that never happened.  I miss my grandpa, and i love him very much and can't wait till i get to heaven to see him again.  I love you grandpa!!!